how to make a bird

one day they will make humans out of steel but until then i may have to break these bones
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this is my first cup of tea all day and it’s delightful and i’m sleepy

i don’t know. i surprise myself when i discover my boundaries in space. they never are where i expect them to be and i still scrutinise my reflection in the mirror, my backwards face, searching for something, a sign, anything, that tells me it’s me. not so desperate, now; just clumsy and confused. everything’s exhausting, and i’m taking my iron and i’m still so tired by the end of the day. calculating and re-calculating wears me out and wears me down and i’d say wears me thin but i can never tell for sure. she gave me a name, and later on the phone my father said they’re only words and don’t get too wrapped up in them and people need to make categories but once the words are out there they’re real and they are mine, maybe. something solid to grasp when i can’t tell what’s real. today i ran three kilometres, up a hill and back down, and my feet hit the footpath like a metronome and i counted my breaths. no boundaries, there; i bleed into the air and i am the thudding of my heart and the tension in my calves. told her i don’t panicky-exercise any more but maybe that was an unintentional lie because maybe i do. you can get used to anything, probably; don’t notice the water you swim in.

Posted 10 hours ago With 0 notes

Tagged: #holy moley

I took the wind from the sea
I took the blood from an arrow
I took the wisdom of spring
I was thrown and blown and tossed and turned

Until time found its hand and called it an end
Me and time we go way back when
I was a child, and I always knew why

I knew my name, oh I knew my road
And I stayed away from heavy loads
And still I’m low,
Oh Lord, am I low.

Posted 3 days ago With 153 notes

knife edges, again

it’s all so messy, you know? and i don’t like messy

Posted 4 days ago With 0 notes

home from the lunchtime WOD. our box hoodies are the best ever and i don’t want to take mine off (it probably needs a wash).

WOD:

W#1: 15 min to find 1RM snatch

W#2: ‘framanda’

  • 21 thrusters @ 40/30 kg [25kg]
  • 9 muscle ups [sub: 21 pull ups, 21 push ups]
  • 15 thrusters
  • 7 muscle ups [15 pull ups, 15 push ups]
  • 9 thrusters
  • 5 muscle ups [9 pull ups, 9 push ups]

i don’t have a very powerful snatch, mostly because i haven’t done all that many of them. i managed a 27.5 kg power snatch, and left it there, because i’m still too unfamiliar with the movement to want to add more weight. that’s still 22.5 kg heavier than the last time we did snatches, and it’s still a PR for me, so i’m happy.

#2 was a combination of ‘fran’ and ‘amanda’ and it sucked. i powered through the thrusters and the push ups to give myself more time on the pull ups (because i continue to be awful at them) and finished in 15:11 - only 11 seconds after cut-off, so i’m happy with that, considering i usually don’t finish the workout if it has pull ups. 

i like the lunchtime WODs. they feel a little more relaxed than the morning ones but that’s probably because i’m more conscious.

work soon. should eat something before i go. ehh.

i know everyone cares about irish dance as much as, like, other sports so i’m going to talk about my weekend because it was pretty good, if kind of strange.

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Posted 4 days ago With 0 notes

yo

came eleventh at states

officially not last

teams tomorrow morning

Posted 6 days ago With 2 notes