how to make a bird

one day they will make humans out of steel but until then i may have to break these bones
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it’s strange, going through the education system in school and then through the education system in uni because somehow i fell into believing the idea that to be a worthwhile member of society i needed a degree and then i needed to use that degree for some kind of Important Job. when i was studying astrophysics, it was research, and i’m not sure what it was for philosophy/english, but it was something vague involving a desk and possibly some analysis. 

but when i sit down and think about it, really think about what i’ve done and what i’m doing and what i want to do, i always come to the conclusion that i want to do something practical, something purposeful, something where i can maybe use my hands or see actual physical results. swim teaching is great for that - i’m in the water and i can help kids swim and i can watch them improve and i’m not staring at a screen or sitting at a desk and it’s great. i’ve been trying to think of other jobs that i could do that have a similar list of tasks.

it’s hard for me to accept this, because i’m worried that if i get a job that doesn’t directly use my degree people will tell me that i wasted all that time at university and i’ll feel [even more] guilty about spending my parents’ money, but i really don’t feel like the last four-and-a-half years were a waste. they were difficult, yes, and sometimes things got very bad, but i needed to do it and i’m better for it.

my father told me once that i was the first mcdicken to go to university which means i’m the first mcdicken to graduate from university but while that makes me all warmfuzzy inside, when i look at the people who i have spent my life looking up to and emulating, the majority of them are not university educated. they still lead important, fulfilling lives and they are not lesser people for the lack of a degree.

so i need to understand and accept that i can do anything i want to and i shouldn’t feel like i have to do something just because i have a degree. no work is more important than other work. i am no less for choosing one over the other.

Posted 20 hours ago With 6 notes

okay fine i guess i’ll shower

Posted 22 hours ago With 0 notes

sweaty selfie because i ran 5km and it’s the best run i’ve ever run and i’m pretty happy with that

pls note my neon orange sports bra and also the fact that i can tie my hair back without any bobby pins 

i like today: even though i slept through crossfit (stupidly sore after yesterday) i hung out with lisse a lot and work was good and i started reading a new irvine welsh book while i was waiting for lisse in the back seat of my car with the sun coming in and the windows down 

this post-uni life is fantastic - i like working and reading what i want to read and working out and not having to worry about class and deadlines and papers (more actual work would be nice though but y’know)

oh my goodness. i went back to crossfit after a week and a half off and this was the WOD. it looked okay but i was wrecked after all those burpees and kettlebell thrusters. i used an 8kg kettlebell (might have been able to use the 12kg one but i hadn’t done thrusters with a kettlebell before so i took the lighter option) and i finished in about 23 minutes, i think - those burpees really slowed me down. 

that wasn’t the whole workout. afterwards we had 10 minutes of handstand holds to failure with 7 burpees each time we came off the wall. i complained that my shoulders were fried and one of the trainers told me that since i was significantly lighter than everyone else i have nothing to complain about (the other trainer asked me if they were deep fried or battered and pan fried). i came off the wall four times, which meant 28 [very slow] burpees.

it was a good workout to get back into the swing of things - bit of a shock to my body, which only ran and did bodyweight exercises for ten days. fun, though. i feel pretty good at the moment, but i’ll probably be sore tomorrow. hopefully it won’t take me long to get back to where i was before i left.

Tagged: #ouch

help i’m so tired i’mllosing my fine motor skils

  • ah i miss mum and dad and niall already
  • i’m so tireed i feel drunk and i accitdeantlyl bought lite mlik instead of full cream 
  • even so this tea is still pretty good
  • doing lanudry cleans my head
  • my giant containter of proteain powder arrived1!!!
  • and i’ll go to crssofit and dance tomorrow
  • really don’t think i can make it thorugh band tonight but i should go because i’m concert band manager so i might just stick my head in and say hello to everyone and then go home to bed

Posted 2 days ago With 0 notes

hello i’m home

i’ve been up since three and everything’s in technicolour 

i have to unpack and do laundry and things before band tonight so i’ve been pretty much continually drinking coffee since about seven

i’m right on target / my aim is straight

Posted 4 days ago With 1 note

last night was george of the jungle and this morning was running in the cold and this afternoon i see mitch and hey, i’m doing all right. 

running along back streets/highways in the country is interesting because you have to look out for semi-trailers and avoid dirt roads and hope that the dogs aren’t going to get out of people’s yards and chase you. luckily it’s cold so there are no flies. running in summer is the worst.

Posted 6 days ago With 0 notes


hello i am rory gilmore that is all. 

Posted 1 week ago With 4 notes